Mental Health For The Black Man
The older I get the more I notice black men are literally expected to be the strongest men on earth. Black men symbolize strength, toughness, and leadership. This notion would be fine if this expectation did not come with the negative connotations that by far outweigh the positive ones. The notion of being strong comes with so much scrutiny that it almost seems unbearable. Black men are expected to be a protector, provider, lover, mentally stable, and emotionally available. Yet at the same time we expect them to never show emotion, never cry, never feel sad, nor express their feelings too often. If they do express themselves, they often endure criticism for being too emotional.
Black men face this criticism from their friends, family, associates, and significant others. Little do we know, as a community, when you do not allow someone to fully express themselves it can create tension and stress. Which in turn will cause our men to shut down and feel isolated. The effect of this is them no longer feeling safe in their own environment. Which then creates an inability to be transparent and honest with anyone. This route can lead to them believing their own facades such as thinking everything is “okay” when it actually isn’t. It can lead to them ignoring their feelings and sabotaging their relationships with others.
Most men don’t realize that every time they ignore their feelings, tension continues to build until an explosion arises from various triggers. Such triggers could be trauma from past situations, a current or previous relationship, or something endured from childhood. Most of the time when people feel like they don’t have anyone to trust, they avoid useful tools such as mentors and counselors. I’ve heard black men say:
“I can’t relate to them so I’ll just deal with this on my own.”
“I’m not crazy so why do I need to talk to anyone?”
“Going to therapy shows weakness and I’m not weak”
“Nothing is wrong, I don’t have any problems.”
Whatever comes out their mouth, I see it as an excuse caused by fear. We should allow our men to fully express themselves in all environments. With all that goes on in this world, they too need a safe place to decompress. It’s not weak to seek help, because in actuality it shows courage. Courage to want happiness, courage to want to push through this thing we call life, courage to be honest with oneself and with everyone else. We need to normalize seeking help and therapy as a black man. We need to normalize black men feeling comfortable in their own skin and comfortable being mentally strong enough to handle whatever comes their way.
To all my black men, it’s okay to seek help. Yes you can do it alone, but it will be easier with the support of friends and family by your side. Speak up for yourself and choose your mental health. I promise it will be worth it. To my black community, support those who need help. Support those who you know are going through or beginning this journey. Support someone’s mental health today.
- KYC